Connect to Yourself

Most of the people I see – I am a psychologist and psychotherapist – come in to my office very disconnected from themselves. As we begin to explore their thoughts, feelings, wishes, and needs, they often say “I don’t know” and “I have no idea.” Some immediately become uncomfortable with the prospect of listening to and connecting with themselves. They begin to wriggle around and to talk faster seeking, almost frantically, to fill the time or space. When I see that, I do the opposite. I become more still in my soul and body. I stop talking. I wait. It is then that clients typically see themselves and comment on how much difficulty they have being still in their body, and, ultimately, sitting with themselves – their thoughts and their feelings. “I can’t stop moving. I’m always moving. I can’t be still.” They aren’t talking about ADD and neither am I. They are recognizing that they have no idea how to be still and indeed have never learned how to be still and “visit” themselves, as I like to call it. So, we practice. “Let’s see what happens if you become still now…” We are quiet. They stop moving. Sometimes they fall into a little dream with themselves. It’s short. But they like it. “That was good…I feel better.” “Good” I say. “Would you like to practice it again tonight or this week?” “Yes.”

And so, dear Reader, I invite you to practice a piece of quietude and stillness with yourself. No agenda. I’m not sending you to a relaxation app or recommending you focus on breath or any number of things on the standard “How to Connect With Yourself” list. (You have read about that before and know how to find and do that.) No, I’m inviting you to become quiet, become still, stop talking to yourself, discard any agenda, and let yourself just be. Do it for a moment. Maybe now. If a thought comes, okay. If a feeling comes, okay. No agenda to stay with it. No agenda to banish it. Day dream. Go with your flow of thought or feeling and maybe the next one after that. Have a nice time. I’ll wait for you.

Now, how are you? Are you a little more connected to you?

(Hint: Doing this near a window while gazing at nature helps. Why? Well, that’s for a different blog.)

Be Well ~

Dr. Lisa


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